Losing 50%

Life is full of wins and losses. We win games, we lose bets. We win business and lose our keys. In the world of investing, winning and losing is absolute. It is going to happen. For those who stare at the ticker tape of stock prices or log onto their Fidelity account every hour – they know that one can get richer or poorer by the second. Winning is fun, but if you can’t take losing, it’s going to be a tough go.

Although I love to write about the financial side of life and the silly things that we do with it – this is not about money. Not really.

I have been fortunate enough to meet a lot of people in my life. Work has taken me to amazing places and allowed me to meet interesting people. Everyone has a different story and a colorful past, which has created their ‘now.’ Great conversations with these folks have allowed me to see parts of life through their eyes, especially the ones in the picture above. Their 50% + 50% = Me.

People's stories are lessons that I always want more of. These stories are how I learn. Maybe others may say the same about me, but I’m a pretty simple guy. I’m a Honda Accord in a world of Ferraris and Fiats.

One of these folks recently grabbed my attention not because of a win, but a loss. This man (let’s call him Jim) has lived a life of bliss by most standards. A great career, family, health and even wealth. All of these are still intact, but another part is being halved.

Anyone who is married, in an amazing relationship, a best friendship, or even a bond with their dog can tell you that they are not whole without the other. Jim is facing this tough hurdle – his wife, his other half, is declining in health. Jim is losing 50% of what makes him whole.

Being a guy who grew up in a blue-collar town, raised by a guy’s guy and a ‘get over it’ environment, I understand how hard it is to ask for assistance – to say, ‘I’m scared, I need help.’ Jim said both, verbatim.

Sure, we can help with finances, but that’s not what he needs. He needs us, the humans.

We all live our lives knowing that it can be taken away in a heartbeat. Our brains don’t let us ponder on this fact for too long. I am sure there is a psychological reason with a fancy name to explain why. We get married, build new friendships, get a new puppy knowing damn well that one day our hearts will get cut in half with loss. It’s worth every slice in most people’s minds. It’s a harsh reality that takes empathy when on the other side. Hopefully that empathy is there for us when we’re in those shoes. Statistically, we will all likely be there eventually. There is no sneaking out of this one.

Today’s world can be quite material. News runs fast, emotions ebb and flow. We invest money and save money, sometime to a fault by missing out on the present. We work countless hours trying to get more. Simple math and statistics tell us that we typically sleep 8 hours, work 8 hours, and spend the other 8 hours, in some way, with our other ‘50%.’ We only get 24 hours. When we lose our 50%, that void can be all-consuming. Heck, you can try sleeping diagonally in bed and pretend it's not half empty. It never feels right.

Nothing new was learned from my conversation with Jim, yet. But the experience was an important gut-check that relationships trump all. Romantic relationships, friendships, trusted business relationships and even pet relationships.

My 50% for Many Years

Onto the financial part – I continue to watch people lose their minds over news headlines, politics and market volatility. ‘OMG my portfolio is down 15%!’ or ‘I can’t believe my Nvidia just dropped 25%.’ As Chief Market Strategist for Ritholz Wealth Management, Callie Cox, has said, ‘live by the gun die by the gun.’ Risk is fun in one direction only, but it's a two-lane road shared with reward.

Jim wants good news, too. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that Jim will lose 50% of the most important thing in his life. But his gain was something no market or monetary policy can take a way. Most of us will lose 50% in one way or another, and it will make the news and market volatility seem like peanuts. At one time or another it all just becomes noise.

Be humble, live fully, love your 50%.